These stages tell us that dealing with the child in terms of morals depends on his age stage before anything else, and therefore you do not resort to punishing your child for unacceptable behavior while he is still at a lower stage in the development of his conscience. Distinguish between right and wrong and emphasize correcting what he did.
Knowing that your child is in the first stage and focuses on punishment as a result of his wrong behavior will inevitably change your reaction towards him from your knowledge that he is in a stage in which he is aware of society’s standards, values, existence, and role in this society, which are completely different from your knowledge of his maturity and that he is conscious of conscience and that his ideas and principles may conflict with the society around him.
Just as these stages develop, your upbringing of your child must develop and your way with him differs about his behavior. You may find yourself at some stage knowing that this behavior is good or bad for certain reasons, and then you learn at a later stage about the existence of different points of view according to the personalities about the same behavior and people may make mistakes for certain reasons. Without that means that they are bad and so on from developments.
Here, we will present five important points that must be taken into account while raising your child’s conscience at its various stages:
1 good example
The child acquires a lot of behaviors and moral standards through imitation, as there are mirror neurons cells inside the brain that are responsible for imitation since birth, and the family is the most environment that the child simulates, which is the parents and with time, he adopts these behaviors and actions that started just for imitation until they become part of the conscience The child is essential to his standards, so parents must set a good example for their children and abide by sound moral standards.
- If you make a mistake in front of your child, you must hurry up to apologize and try to fix what you spoiled so that the culture of apology teaches him and that it increases the person’s strength and not an expression of weakness, and also teaches him to rely on himself and builds strong standards within him so that he does not leave the mistake or ignore it.
- Your words must match your actions, so do not direct your child not to lie and that it is bad behavior and forbidden by God Almighty and you come and ask him to lie by informing the caller that you are not present, or to lie under the pretext of being in a mood with someone or these actions that we do not care about, but in reality, It has a very dangerous impact on our children so that they do not enter into fluctuation and bewilderment from your actions and orders.
- You have to take one attitude towards the mistake, do not accept an act from your child while you are calm in your mind, and consider it a mistake that should be punished only as a result of the burdens of life on you. Do not let the pressures of life affect your rejection and acceptance of your child’s actions so as not to cause confusion and confusion in your child’s internal standards between what is right And the error.
- Unconditional love plays a key role in building a positive relationship between you and your child, which in turn builds his inner conscience for his growth in a family where love and understanding prevail, so he grows up emotionally balanced, cares about the things around him and takes into account others in his actions and his conscience grows healthily.
2 character building
Building the child’s personality comes in the first place to build his conscience, so do not bother making your child fear you and tremble at your words and orders to him. Once you leave or a situation occurs in which you are not by his side, he will do the opposite of what you dictate to him until he feels independent, as the child from the age of eight begins to search for independence and feeling That maturity is the implementation of what he wants and not what anyone dictates to you, especially the parents, and this feeling must be developed and not stand in front of it to prevent it, but rather help the child to correct what he wants to do and direct the internal concepts of his conscience.
This can be done by using stories and anecdotes that develop his conscience and make him understand why he feels remorse or how he feels comfort and peace and how God punishes us for our bad actions and thus watches God in his actions and fears his punishment and not the punishment of the parents, God sees him everywhere where he is found and not like the parents who in turn will leave him in some situations We can summarize the character structure as follows:
- Respect independence and that your child is a whole different person, not a shadow of you.
- Develop self-confidence and motivate him to abide by his promises and act from his point of view and then comment with guidance only without blame and admonition.
- Instilling God’s observation in our actions, where God knows what we think and does not see our actions only, and that there are angels who record what we do of good and evil.
- Be careful to monitor yourself and review your actions before bedtime by talking to your child about the best thing he did during the day, the worst he did, what he did wrong, what he did right, how he avoids mistakes, and how he can fix them the next day, and all of this we extract from the child himself so that he develops his conscience and understands observing himself, without interfering with orders and blame.
- Use stories that call for keeping promises, developing ethical standards, avoiding mistakes, and how to fix them.
3 logical consequences
Most parents tend to reward and punishment, believing that this is what builds a child with a sound conscience, forgetting that a large number of punishments makes the child feel controlled by the parents and permanent guidance and does not do his actions on his own, but only just to avoid their punishment, but there is a difference between punishment and the consequence, there is A consequence for every behavior agreed upon between you, the child does after that on his own, because it builds inside his conscience, for example (when he pours juice on the floor, he must clean it himself) and he is not punished with beatings and enters his room to isolate from you because he behaved badly,
Also (when you warn him that jumping on the sofa is dangerous and can fall) you do not have to hit him to stop this action, but let him understand and try to help him when he falls and then he will not repeat it, just as you warn him not to drink your tea when it is too hot for him, but Let him try until he knows what the consequences of his behavior are, and you only have to direct him.
This is the same for most behaviors and actions, and during the study, you do not have to punish him because he does not want to do his duties, but let him go to school without doing his duties to know what the results of his action are, and you only have to warn him and direct him and then let him do and decide after that next time, make sure to invest in situations What your child is going through or witnessing, to confirm to him some criteria, even if it was for another child who wanted to do this and one of his parents warned him and did it with stubbornness to see the logical consequences of the actions of others as well.
- Violence or beating destroys the personality of the child and does not make him psychologically healthy, and thus he has a behavioral disorder.
- Blaming, slandering, and a lot of criticism make him an outcast and make him feel that he is a useless, bad person, so his reaction is not to implement your words and aversion to them.
- Urgency in requesting the implementation of orders and pursuing him with what he should do and what he should not do, this may enter him into a satisfactory state of obsessive and weak personality as a result of continuous self-flagellation.